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Ivan Donn Carswell Poems
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Does your semen smell like camembert? by Ivan Donn Carswell
Does your semen smell like camembert? It’s just
a thought I had today at lunch, I must have had
the hunch before, perhaps reversed, and then
forgot. It’s not the sort of thought you’d have a lot
unless you make a sport of masturbation. Or
ejaculation in the air. So where did it occur?
I found the block of camembert was hard as rock, well
not as soft as camembert should be,
so thirty seconds on each side would see it
microwaved to body heat. I admit I cannot drive
a microwave, I couldn’t save the lump of cheese
from running out to meet me and the slice of rye,
though it spread with ease. And thus I learned the link.
Now if you lover says your semen smells like fragrant grass
take her to task, say the stink is really camembert,
and don’t despair if she should laugh,
just microwave your jolly staff.
© I.D. Carswell
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